We're Even, My Bagel And I

One morning a few weeks ago, when I told my friend I was stepping out for a bagel, she sent me a quick missive: “That jalapeno bagel is not good for your waistline, dear."

Well, I did not have a “waistline” anymore than Phuket had a resort after the tsunami of 2004. I reminded my thoughtful friend about how, two years ago, the tidal waves of menopause had smashed into the curves at my waist, permanently upending my figure. Now, whenever I got into my skinnies, I saw overriding bulges that were always under strain at the waistline, causing a tectonic shift in other parts.

Despite the extensive damage, I try hard to not harbor insecurities. I continue to eat my favorite foods. This morning, I ventured out again for a toasted jalapeno bagel with jalapeno cream cheese. My bagel was pricey: 450 calories. After that I simply walked 4.5 miles, burning 450 calories.

Now, we’re even, my bagel and I.